Here we are at the start of a new year with the potential to start anew, start over, or even just start a change.  Many of us make resolutions regarding finances, health, etc, and I know many parenting resolutions are generated at this time of year.  Several years ago I attended a play therapy conference, and one of the speakers was discussing parenting.  She mentioned that she asks her parents are you being a “good enough” parent. We don’t need to be, and ultimately can’t be, perfect parents. We need to strive to be “good enough”.  “Good enough” to meet their physical and emotional needs while guiding them on their road to independence.

 This concept has stuck with me through the years, and I have even used it in my own parenting evaluation. Am I guiding? Am I minimizing reacting? Am I teaching? Do I show love? Getting stuck in the thoughts of needing to be a perfect parent with perfect kids is unobtainable and only leads to a place of hopelessness, anxiety and disappointment.   When you model the need for perfection, your children are watching and learning.  Is that what you want for their world…a world full of worry, self-doubt, anxiety, and anger?  Realize that we all make mistakes, we are all learning and growing, and you just need to be “good enough”. Be kind to yourself. Then they will know they can always start anew no matter the season or circumstance.

 P.S. If you are currently struggling to be “good enough” in your parenting, please give me a call. I can help.

 

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